What more?

Spring cleaning...it's something that I dread and know I really need to do, but put it off as long as possible. Those ceiling fans could really use a good cleaning because it's one of those things that I just don't think about wiping off each week. And, those dust bunnies everywhere! Our hardwood floor isn't quite as shiny as when it was put down. The bathrooms sure could use a good scrubdown, and don't even get me started on my closets! (Well, that sentence just popped my big happy balloon!) Don't we all feel this way sometimes? I know I do, more often than I want to admit. I'm quite blessed, but sometimes, I don't appreciate what I have quite as much as I should!


And, then I visit the Compassion website, and blogs of sponsors who have gone to visit their sponsored children. I look at their houses made of cardboard and mud and whatever materials they can get their hands on. I read about the people in those other countries who are joyful at the thought of being able to eat one small meal on any given day. I look through countless faces on the Compassion website, wondering if today might be the day that this precious little boy will become sponsored. Or, that beautiful little girl will have her heart broken once again on the next letter delivery day when her name isn't called.


I look at what I have, and I feel so blessed but I also feel so selfish. Who am I to deserve this house, this car, these clothes I'm wearing, the freedom to worship when and where I want, the money to go buy a new pair of shoes when my old ones wear out? So many blessings I have, but so many children who need sponors and who would be grateful for clean water.


My husband and I have sponsored a little girl (Beatriz) in Brazil for a little over a year now. I'm also correspondent sponsor to Hosea in Tanzania, and Andre in Indonesia. It's such a blessing to have this opportunity, and I'm grateful. But, I look around my house, and see all the things that just sit there, looking pretty but not really useful. I look at my house, which isn't a huge house, but it's brick, not made of mud and cardboard.


Sometimes, I stand with the pantry door open, or the freezer, and wonder..."what can I fix for dinner tonight? we have nothing in here; I need to go to the store, but I don't really want to get out...I really need to re-fill the freezer, and I will next time I go to the meat market...guess I'll fix the old standby of hamburgers or spaghetti..." All of these thoughts, whirling around in my head, and on the Compassion website are faces of hundreds of children who don't know where their next meal is coming from.


I feel so...I don't know...blessed, yes, but also so unworthy of what the Lord has blessed me with. Questions start popping into my mind...how can I share what I have? what else can I do? how can I shave off a few more dollars from our budget so that we can sponsor another child?


Two questions keep popping into my mind...what more can I do and how can I make it happen?


I'm on a journey to find out the answers.


In His grace,


Sharon